Marianne Breier September 19, 1919 - November 1, 2005
Our mother’s memorial service took place in the library at Meadowridge, home to our parents since 1991. The room was overflowing with people - with folks in the outer wings as well.
At the front of the room were pictures of our beautiful mother and father and family. Several people spoke. Our father, could barely speak of anything other than his sadness for our mother’s suffering.
The room was showered with warmth and love - many of the guests had travelled a distance to be with us and were ever so grateful to be in attendance.
The service was followed by a reception - with lovely chocolates, cookies, pastries, fruits and drinks - served, outside the library.
We deeply regret we don’t have pictures or the content of our mother’s memorial service to share with you.
We thought we would offer you a few words about our mother ........
Our mother was a very bright, well read, refined and cultured woman. Having dreamt of becoming a judge, our mother was born into a family in which both of her parents were accomplished dental surgeons at a time when it was highly unusual in particular, for a woman to attain such professional stature. Our mother had high aspirations and dreams of a socially minded character. The circumstances of the Nazi Era and her consequent exodus from Germany to a land unknown, the family’s loss of economic stability, the wars that followed in then Palestine with a final exodus to the United States, precluded this intelligent, self made renaissance woman from realizing many of her dreams - including her professional dreams. Instead, relegated to the role of housewife, our mother worked in mundane jobs as a legal secretary, Avon lady, etc. (all at which she excelled) and channeled her knowledge of history, comparative religion, the arts, philosophy, etc., her sensitivity and wisdom, creativity and desire to engage in meaningful service in other ways. And ..... at these endeavors too .... she was enormously successful. As our father created delicious chocolate mouse out of dirt or clay, so did our mother.
The qualities that most aptly describe our mother include devotion, love and kindness, courage, and leadership.
On devotion
Our mother was devoted - devoted to her husband, her family, her friends and others always. She never - not even for a moment - ever lost sight of or feeling for the suffering that living kind had and continues to endure. This devotion defined her life such that she worked unforgivingly to bring home extra money so that her children in particular could benefit from the finer cultural and educational experiences of life and so that her expression of generosity would be felt by family and friends alike. It further defined her in her dedication to the establishment of social forums to awaken and nurture compassion among others for living kind. She was one of the founders of the Humanist Jews of Fairfield County, The Humanist Society, and The Ethical Culture Society of Fairfield County - of which at least two are thriving today.
On love and kindness
Our mother always brought reason, understanding and compassion to her personal relationships. She and our father, generally at our mother’s initiation, always reflected upon the motivations behind the actions of others ..... always reflected upon the needs of others, ..... always and relentlessly gave .... in the face of hardship and personal discomfort. Whether visiting a friend regularly and reliably in the hospital or nursing home, or taking a friend who was widowed with them to concerts, or inviting the needy or lonely to dinner and for special occasions ... or ..... or ..... our mother did it. She gave when it was not convenient. She gave even when she was not well. She gave even when emotionally hurt herself. She just always gave.
On Courage
Our mother, was courageous. She had unyielding integrity. She was unwavering in her adherence to the principles that guided her actions in her life - the causes in which she believed. Whether standing solidly - was convenient or not, whether standing boldly set her apart or not, whether standing grounded created struggle or not - courageous she was - and as such, forever true to her stands and passions. In Israel she engaged with the communist party - which was of course problematic. Her sister recalls a time when it was likely the police might be coming after her and she might have to flee. She quietly asked her sister destroy the pamphlets and other communist related papers she had amassed if they came knocking; she stood by her boyfriend, later to become husband and life partner through all of his endeavors despite the risks, struggle and difficulties they presented. She supported her husband in his decision to leave El Al and Israel, despite the fact that doing so was taking them, already in their late 30s, already once displaced, again into unchartered waters and uncertain times. At home, she stood her ground, arguing that exposure to all of the world’s religions and humanitarian figures was of unparalleled importance to raising children with broad scope and far reaching compassion. And so, The Ethical Culture Society of Fairfield County, The Humanist Group, and The Humanist Jewish Congregation were founded and nurtured. And so, we attended the Ethical Culture Society on Sundays and celebrated the Sabbath at home on Friday nights along with the highest Jewish Holidays.
Living the principled life - a life based on taking stands was fundamental to who our mother was. The
principles by which she lived her life ..... lived with such consistent and obvious integrity - was evidenced as well in the ease with which our mother assimilated them, naturally - without much effort or todo.
On Leader
Our mother lead - quietly - from behind. She was always a pillar of support, a beacon of light, a heart of gold and warmth. While the choices our parents made were always the result of a collaboration between them, it was often she, who stirred the pot; it was often she who brought the conceptual context, a rich understanding founded in reason and fact and extraordinary effort that enabled the torch bearer, our father, to lead with strength, conviction and the comfort.
Our home was a home, not a house; the world was presented to us to behold, not abuse; each day was offered as one for which to be grateful, not exploit. Our home was filled with stability, food, clothing and shelter, culture, and the untold gifts that love, support and commitment, brought forth by a refined and wise woman, and friend, would generate.
Thank you dear Mother, for the gift of loving and gratitude you have bestowed upon us.
Our beautiful parents
uriandmariannebreier@gmail.com
Judith Breier jbreier@msn.com Michele Breier michele.breier@gmail.com